Situation

In retaliation of my ongoing fight to find a home, I created a craigslist performance piece. No luck with this tactic, either:

Jersey Shore-type situation
Date: 2012-09-07, 11:28PM PDT

I've been having a hard time finding a place to live, but what I'm looking for is really simple: 

I'm looking for a "Jersey Shore" type situation. This means you must not only have a hot tub, but it must also not be filled with grenades (grenades: not-so-nice looking ladies). I live by the following acronym: G.T.L., I go to the gym, I tan, and I do laundry. If you're going to get jealous of my eight-pack abs, copious cologne, my fresh fade and my unnaturally constant chestnut tan, we're not going to work out. 

Ideal housemates like hooking up, going out, and throwing objects while drunk. Everybody here on craigslist is looking for a "drama-free" arrangement, so that should leave room enough for me. The more drama that ensues, the more exposure I will get, and let's face it, so will you! I want to live in a place with people encouraging me to drink too much so that I will get into meaningless arguments about aforementioned hooking up, going out and throwing objects while drunk. The perfect housemates support themselves by working in a t-shirt store six or seven hours a week; I'll be happy to commiserate when you come home to complain about how you work too much. Shared land line a must. Don't touch my hair. 

So get back to me, I can't wait to be your housemate so we can have t-shirt time! 

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